HAVEN. HEALING. HOPE.

The Dougy Center supports grieving children, Teens and families

Grief has a universal theme. It is the common denominator that unites us all — young and old, rich and poor — with its inevitability. Yet grief can also disconnect us, even with our best-intended efforts, when we try to deal with others who are grieving.

Children’s grief is often misunderstood and minimized by caring adults. It is a natural reaction to shield the young from death and grief by attempting to restore a sense of normalcy to their lives as soon as possible. Unfor–tunately, all too often their sense of normal will never be the same — and they are denied the opportunity to grow through their grieving process.

The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families provides that safe haven where grief is normal and grieving is supported by peers and trained volunteer facilitators who allow the process to take its course. The Center serves children, teens and young adults ages 3 to 30 who are dealing with the death of a parent, sibling or friend through illness, accident, suicide or murder. Since it was founded in 1982, The Dougy Center has served over 15,000 children.

Children are placed together by age and type of death. Working in small groups, assisted by professional staff and trained volunteers, the children help and encourage each other to talk, play, and overcome their fears and frustrations during the grieving process. “Children are the best at helping each other understand what has happened,” explains Jann Pittman, Executive Director of the Center. “For example, in one of our ‘Littles’ groups (children from 3-5), a 4-year-old boy shared that he was upset because his Daddy had died and didn’t come back. Another little boy, age 4 1/2, came over and hugged him and said ‘My Daddy didn’t come back either. Daddies don’t usually come back after they die.’ This is so typical of the way the children work it out together.”

The Dougy Center was the first peer support program of its kind in the country; but the work started by founder Bev Chappell has become a model for similar efforts nationally and internationally. The Center hosts an international Summer Institute, and provides training in communities nationally and internationally under the leadership of Donna Schuurman, The Dougy Center’s National Director. A national center locator of Children’s Grief Services is published on their website, www.dougy.org, to stretch their outreach to other communities and groups working to provide grief services.

From the Center’s location in southeast Portland, they work with hundreds of local families per year. They host 40 bi-weekly support groups serving over 500 children, teens, young adults and their parents or caregivers eachmonth. In 2004, 140 volunteer facilitators donated over 10,500 hours in support of the Center and their mission.

A dedicated, but small, staff of 14 employees provides direction, planning and outreach. The organization also gleans support from an active Board of Directors and an Advisory Board comprised of local professionals, business leaders and concerned citizens.

Times of emotional crisis are often times of financial crisis. The Dougy Center charges no fee for services and will never turn anyone away because they do not have an ability to make a financial contribution. Families are invited to make a voluntary contribution to offset costs of service.

Growing the mission to serve more children, families
The Dougy Center is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization that receives very little government funding. The Center depends almost entirely on fundraising efforts and donations. Because the need to support grieving families is on going, and ever growing, the need to increase financial resources is a critical one for the staff and volunteers at The Dougy Center.

Plans are underway to open a permanent satellite location in Canby that will begin serving families in May 2005. The Center is actively working to create partnerships that will allow them to grow in other areas around the greater Portland area and beyond. With the help of business and community partners, the Center hopes to start another program in the Hillsboro area and to translate their series of guide books into Spanish so they can increase their outreach and assistance. “Additional funding and good partners could give our model more mobility,” explains Pittman. “We could help more children, in more areas, if we develop partnerships with existing groups.” She credits the new program in Canby to a partnership with Willamette Falls Hospice and the purchase of a home by a generous donor.

Your support will continue to grow the good works of The Dougy Center. Donations from individuals, groups, businesses and foundations form the mainstay for the Center’s budget. Others find ways to support through in-kind donations of materials and supplies, or with bequests or planned gifts that will continue to fund the Center beyond a donor’s lifetime.

To illustrate the costs involved with supporting just one child through the grieving process, consider the following — and remember the Center helps over 500 children, teens, young adults, and family members monthly:
$1,500 sponsors one child for an entire year
$750 sponsors one child for six months
$375 sponsors one child for three months
$100 purchases one month of art supplies and snacks
$50 purchases books/materials for the resource library

All donations make a difference in the lives of grieving children, and those who work to help them. For more information, to volunteer or to make a donation, contact The Dougy Center directly at 503-775-5683 or visit their website at www.dougy.org.

“My name is Brennan. I am 13 years old and my mom died of breast cancer three days after my 12th birthday.” That simple, yet powerful, statement was a defining moment in the life of an extraordinary young woman. Finding a safe haven where she could deal with the chaos and pain of loosing a treasured parent propelled her on a life journey that eventually brought her full circle when she returned to The Dougy Center as a volunteer facilitator and a full-time staff person.

This amazing woman is Brennan Wood, Program Assistant, and her story reflects the good work unselfishly offered by The Dougy Center, their staff and volunteers. She shared her story recently at a Volunteer Facilitator Appreciation Dinner. Her message was simple and straight from the heart, “The Dougy Center saved my life.”

“The power of hearing that I wasn’t the only kid in the world who had a parent die was immeasurable. At home, I was screaming to be heard by my father. But when I came to The Dougy Center, I got to spend time with these amazing volunteer facilitators who, unlike every other adult in my life, didn’t have a lot of unwanted advice. They didn’t want to cure my pain or change my behavior. They simply held a space for me, listened to me, and gave me a safe place to be.”

Brennan credits her ability to deal with life, the good and the bad parts, to her experiences with The Dougy Center. “I learned not to ignore my pain and grief, or to try to hide from it, but to be with it and to incorporate this natural part of life into my own.” The assurance and comfort she found as a grieving child, the patience and understanding she learned as a facilitator, and the pride of returning to contribute as an employee have all shaped a person who will make a significant impact on the lives of others.

“It is amazing to me how life some–times brings you full circle. And that’s the miraculous thing about The Dougy Center — if you trust in the process, you end up right where you are supposed to be.”

Tea Time at The Dougy Center
Staff members and volunteers invite anyone interested in learning more about the work of the Center to join them for Tea Time on the first Thursday of each month. Attendees are treated to tea, cookies and a tour of the facility. They are encouraged to ask questions and explore ways they might support the Center as a volunteer, a donor, or both.

Tea Times for 2005:
April 7
May 5
June 2
July 7
September 1
October 6
November 3
December 1

Chance of a Lifetime!
Would you like to hit the road in your brand new 2005 Porsche Boxster? Raffle tickets for The Dougy Center’s 8th Annual Boxster Raffle are now on sale. Each ticket costs $100. Only 2000 tickets will be sold making your odds better than winning the lottery!

Purchase raffle tickets online at www.dougy.org or call 503-775-5683 to order. The winner will be announced May 14 during the “Flights of Fancy” Annual Auction at the Benson Hotel. Tickets for the Auction are also available online.

The Dougy Center
The National Center for Grieving Children & Families
3909 SE 52nd Avenue, Portland, OR 97286
Mailing address: P.O. Bos 86852, Portland, OR 97286
www.dougy.org